Communication: The Vital Key to Relationships

When two people become devoted to sharing one life together, a variety of communication styles merge. These styles depend on a range of factors, including each person’s family background. While one partner’s family may practice open communication, the other partner’s family may feel this is foreign. Understanding, acceptance and acknowledging the difference in each person’s communication style, is vital to forging a healthy relationship. It is also important the couple develop their own communication style.

It is essential for a couple to communicate without placing blame on either party. Five important communication guidelines are:

1. Always listen. Do not listen to just the words, but try to understand the true emotion and feelings that are being conveyed.
2. Speak matter-of-factly without blame. For example, tell your partner “I feel bad when we don’t sit down for dinner together.” This sentence stresses two factual statements: someone feels bad (fact) for not eating dinner together (fact). Always remember that facts are not arguable and they do not place blame.
3.  Focus on a positive to negative ratio. For example, for every one complaint about your partner, it is vital to focus on five positives.
4. Spin complaints into requests. Instead of complaining about making dinner and cleaning up, perhaps negotiate and ask your partner if he will make dinner if you clean up after dinner.
5. Focus on one’s inner self and see what problems each person is contributing. For communication to be successful in any relationship, both parties have to be committed to opening the path of verbal communication.

Additionally, a few more important communication tips include:

• Clearly state what you want or expect. Instead of playing games and hinting around, it is better that both people in the relationship are on the same page.
• Treat your partner how you would like to be treated. The world would be a much easier place if everyone abided by this simple courtesy.
• Negotiate – no one said relationships were easy and yes, they require give and take.
• Adapt, Adjust, Alter! Instead of preparing for war, consider if this is something that is so important a war is not avoidable. Look at the long-term consequences instead of only thinking about the present time.

Utah marriage counseling specializes in helping couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship, set communication goals with one another. A therapist’s office is a safe haven, one where couples can work on being honest and learn communication-building skills. Couples counseling in Utah focuses on understanding each person’s communication style, how to communicate more effectively, problem solving skills and effective negotiation. Provo marriage counseling offers short-term and long-term therapy for couples, providing crucial insight into thought processes, communication styles and setting strong goals for ultimately communicating more effectively with each other.