As I have traveled across Scandinavian and Europe recently, I have noticed one thing – people are the same everywhere. They need love, connection, relationships and seek for happiness. As I was with my wife in Oslo, Norway at Fronger Park (most notably known for the ‘Angry Baby’ statue), I noticed several couples showing interesting tendencies. One couple I noticed was on a date. They were sitting in the grass with a bottle of wine and food between them. They were leaning towards each other – literally. I could tell that they were on a date and enjoying themselves and each other. Another couple I saw were in obvious distress. The woman was laying on the grass, turned away from her husband who was standing 10 feet from her looking the opposite direction. She seemed angry as she was in tears and holding her child. I happened to run across this couple a few times in the park. I never saw them talk to each other and the look on the woman’s face remained upset. I could tell that they were in the middle of an argument and not getting along.

When I work in counseling with couples, I often notice where the couple is ‘leaning’ – literally and figuratively. Researcher Dr. John Gottman has found that this matters to the health of your relationship. Do we find ourselves leaning into our spouse when things get difficult or do we lean out? Leaning in towards your spouse might help you find solutions to your problems that you might not find on your own.

Most of us try to avoid uncomfortable emotions. Who likes to feel sad, depressed, lonely, hurt, scared or betrayed? Don’t we try to NOT feel this way? Some may even engage in unhealthy behaviors to avoid their emotions.  I encountered this as a common theme in my work at drug and alcohol rehab facilities.  Though it may be unpleasant, I propose that if we want to feel the comfortable emotions in life, we have to get good at feeling the ones that are not so comfortable.

It is important to realize that uncomfortable emotions are not bad.  We all experience a myriad of emotions; some make us feel better than others.  Because of the discomfort that comes with some, many try to avoid them all together, take them out on others, or deal with them in unhealthy ways.  The trick to dealing with emotions in a healthy manner is not to get rid of them, but rather to embrace them and then let them go.  As I work with couples or individuals in therapy, I often review three simple steps to dealing with emotions:

1. Recognize: Identifying what we are feeling is the first step. If we don’t know what we are feeling, then we will not be able to do anything with it. It will unwittingly control us. When I ask a client what they are feeling they will often reply, “I’m angry.” Anger, however, is what I call a false emotion. It only exists as it attaches itself to what we originally felt. For example, if someone were to post something mean about you on social media it might make you feel hurt. What is our natural reaction to something like this? We might want to lash out at that person. This is us embracing anger instead of hurt. In this case, the anger covers up the hurt and offers the illusion that it is protecting us—that it is keeping us safe from future hurt—when all it is doing is making it so that we remain hurt. Anger is insatiable. It can never be satisfied. Have you ever felt good after embracing your anger? No. We feel even more angry. That is why I call anger a false emotion. Let anger be the first sign that you are actually feeling something else. Ask yourself the question, “What am Ireally feeling?” in order to recognize your true emotions.
2. Feel: This is the hardest step. After we have recognized that we feel hurt, for example, we usually don’t want to embrace that feeling. This goes back to not wanting to feel uncomfortable feelings. When we allow ourselves to feel these emotions, we then have power to do something with them. Consider the following example: You have a couch in your house that you really detest. This is the ugliest, most horrible piece of furniture ever created. It is so ugly that no one will touch it. How do you handle it? You can’t magically make it disappear—you actually have to pick it up and move it yourself. It seems ironic that in order to move something out of your house that you don’t like, you actually have to get closer to it and touch it. The same goes for our emotions. When we feel them (get closer to them, touch them, pick them up) then we have the power to do something with them.
3. Cope: This is the step most people want to skip straight to. We want to cope with or let go of our emotions without feeling them. But doing this can get us into trouble. When we try to cope with our emotions without first picking them up, what we are really doing is distracting ourselves from feeling something uncomfortable. This is similar to taking a blanket and covering the ugly couch in our house—it’s still there! What we choose to distract ourselves with (i.e., social media, pornography, substances, food, work) then becomes our go-to every time we feel uncomfortable, and an addiction is born. Coping with an emotion involves not forcing it to leave and not forcing it to stay. We let it go after it has run its course. Then we can do something that helps us recover—such as reading a book or talking with a friend.

Learning to deal with uncomfortable emotions can feel counterintuitive at times. Our initial response may be to react with anger or push them away.  But, as we practice embracing our feelings in order to let them go, we will develop habits that will improve our emotional health and overall internal peace.

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by: Triston Morgan, PhD, LMFT

Dr. Morgan is a director and co-owner of Center for Couples and Families, a counseling center, in Utah Valley. He is licensed as a PhD marriage and family therapist, and is originally from Oregon. He and his beautiful wife, Cristina, love to travel and see the world.

It amazes me how many people I see at the gym doing endless cardio—particularly those who are out of shape. Granted, some are training for a race, but most aren’t. Regardless, you all deserve a big high five if you’re putting in that kind of effort, because it can be exhausting.

I’ve often wondered why the general population resorts to this method when trying to get back into shape or lose weight. I think something inside us tricks our minds into thinking “if I sweat a ton, then I will lose fat.” I have even found myself in this type of thinking. That was before I really started getting into anaerobic training (strength training/interval training). After all, isn’t it as simple as calories in versus calories out? So, if I run and burn a ton of calories and cut my calories in eating, then voila, I will lose fat, right? That’s not entirely true.

Too much aerobic exercise with a low calorie diet will result in decreased muscle tissue.  This is because you will use the muscle for energy and your body will start storing fat as a survival mechanism. This is bad. Your resting metabolic rate (metabolism) will drastically decrease. That is why most people gain their weight back so easily after throwing in the towel with the cardio routine, coupled with a low calorie diet.

The best approach to fat loss, whether you’re male or female, is in this exact order: 1) A sound nutrition plan; 2) Strength training; and 3) Interval training.

Eating the right balance of healthy carbs, fats, and proteins with the proper portions and timing will allow you to…(read the rest of the story)

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by: Travis Lott

Since the 1950s, processed food has been touted as more convenient, easy, and, in some cases, healthier for us.  However, as we’ve seen obesity surge in the U.S., many have started to question, “What actually is good for us?” The recent focus on local foods may provide an answer and a path for Americans to return to healthier eating habits. Local ingredients are almost always more fresh, less processed, and less likely to contain chemicals that none of us know how to pronounce, much less what they do to our bodies.

Beyond the health benefits of buying local ingredients, there are a number of benefits to not only our bodies, but our economies.  At Communal, we are glad that we can get really fresh ingredients, but we’re also happy to be supporting the local economy. Restaurants, consumers, and producers mutually benefit from buying local ingredients.  Most of these producers are small businesses owned by Utah natives.  Snuck Farms in Pleasant Grove, Christiansen Farms in Vernon, as well as Clifford Farm and La Nay Ferme in Provo are just a few of these smaller businesses that rely on local restaurants and consumers to continue to be successful.

In our restaurant, it is also notable to see the authenticity of the connection we have made to the ingredients we serve.  It is easier to treat an ingredient with care and respect when there is a real connection to the land.  I’ve been to these farms and met the families that run them.  When that connection exists, there is a certain thoughtfulness put into the preparation of an ingredient that has this sort of an origin story. In turn, that connection to the ingredient extends to the guests we serve. It’s a way to show that there are indeed lots of great local producers, and that Utahans have access to them.

At home, buying and using local ingredients is easier than most people think.  During the summer, head to your local farmers’ market, and you’ll find that the produce is entirely affordable and usually more fresh than what you’ll find in the grocery store.  Also, supermarkets like Harmons have been working harder to bring in local items.  Keep an eye out the next time you visit—local cheese, meat, and produce is available and usually marked. Making those thoughtful purchases to support Utah producers is good for our economy and good for your family.

As more businesses and local residents support the return to local food, we’ll see healthier communities, and we’ll also strengthen Utah’s economy.  It’s a win for all of us.

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by: Andrew Hansen

Stained-glass has been used for centuries to beautify sacred buildings and inspire the passing observer. From cathedrals to mosques to temples, stained-glass can be found adorning architecture throughout the world. For residents who live along the Wasatch Front, stained-glass can readily be found in several buildings in several different cities. However, in the coming months, a new facility at Utah Valley University in Orem will feature a stained-glass window display that will be unlike anything else in the world. The Roots of Knowledge project, scheduled to be unveiled in November of 2016, will feature stained-glass panels that will literally tell the story of us.

The Vision

Artist Tom Holdman, owner of Holdman Studios in Lehi, envisioned the potential of this project more than a decade ago. After a meeting with area community and educational leaders at a private event, Tom was asked about his interest in producing a commissioned piece of stained-glass for one of the groups. Tom wanted to make this piece of art something special, so he set out doing research and sketching ideas for the project. What followed was something quite unusual for this artist. Countless ideas began to flow into Tom’s mind and when he was done taking notes and sketching out several ideas, what began as a single stained-glass window, quickly morphed into a profound and unmatched multi-panel stained-glass display. Although that single, commissioned piece of stained-glass art never became a reality, the idea behind the Roots of Knowledge was in place and Tom was determined to act on it.

Through the help of Tom’s team of artists, their dedicated effort, hours of artistic collaboration and a bit of luck, the Roots of Knowledge project slowly began to take shape. Tom knew that he couldn’t do this project alone, so he approached Utah’s largest public university, Utah Valley University.  When asked about their interest in helping Tom make this dream a reality, administrators at UVU jumped at the chance, immediately recognizing the wonderful impact a project of this kind would have on the university. Knowing that more help was needed to fully produce a project of this magnitude, the owners of Roots Media (filmmaker Lee Groberg, and area businessman and attorney, Ross Wolfley) were asked to join the project. With Roots Media acting as the administrative arm of the team, the project was now off the ground and the three groups quickly began to move forward.

The Project

The stained-glass display, when completed, will consist of 80 stained-glass panels, measuring almost 10 feet in height and 200 feet in length.  Utah Valley University has designated a specific spot in the annex of the university’s library, planning carefully regarding placement, to allow the panels of the display to be lit by natural light from the west.  The stained-glass wall will flow in a curved pattern, allowing visitors to casually stroll through the display and study each panel of the project.

Visitors to the Roots of Knowledge stained-glass wall display will be able to see the history of man through learning and knowledge, beginning with the Dawn of Man, the Bronze Age, the Age of Enlightenment and Renaissance, the Industrial Age, and the Modern Era.

Every stained-glass panel of this massive project is being produced at Holdman Studios in Lehi, Utah.  Lead artist Tom Holdman, along with fellow artists Cameron Oscarson and Nicholas Lawyer, have sketched, in detail, each panel’s design and placement.  Through countless hours of historical research and collaboration with an academic scholar team from UVU, the team put together a sophisticated display that brings to light the history of the world, illustrating the advancements and achievements of mankind.  Through a large team of artists at Holdman Studios, each panel began to take shape and showcase its beautiful rendition of history and education.  When the final piece of glass is laid in place, the project will feature over 80,000 individual pieces of stained-glass.

A Great Educational Opportunity

In addition to the daily visitors the wall will invite, UVU students will…(read the rest of the story)

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by:Clint Wood

What do Y Mountain, Murdock Canal Trail, and Timpanogos Cave all have in common?  They are all well known area attractions, and you have likely hiked at least one of them. However, there are a lot of other trails around Utah Valley, ranging from easy family hikes to more difficult trails, for the outdoors enthusiast. This summer, instead of heading to one of the more popular trails, try these lesser known but equally amazing hikes!

Instead of Utah Lake Parkway, try… Payson Lake Trail

Utah Lake is definitely a highlight in Utah County (and its namesake). But if you love Utah Lake, then you will fall in love with Payson Lake. Just 30 minutes south of Utah Lake, the one-mile trail winds around this beautiful mountain lake. Take a moment to take a dip in the cool water or catch a fish. Bring the family and a picnic and make the most of your hike!

 To get there, take the Payson exit off I-15. Turn left on 100 N and then right on 600 E, the Nebo Scenic Loop. The trail is 11 miles up the road.

 Instead of Stewart Falls, try… Scout Falls

Stewart Falls is a beautiful place to hike to any time of year, but few people know that there is another gorgeous waterfall not too far away. On the Timpooneeke trail, there is the scenic Scout Falls. This 2.4-mile hike takes you through forests and meadows before you arrive at the falls. It is a great date hike!

 To get there, take Highway 92 passing the toll booth into American Fork Canyon. Take the south fork until you see the Timpanooke turnoff. Take the turnoff until you arrive at the parking lot. From the parking lot, walk past the restrooms to the guard station. Then take the right trail on the west side.

 Instead of Rock Canyon, try… Days Canyon Trail

In Maple Canyon there is a fun hike, great for family and friends. The Days Canyon Trailhead is just up the right fork of Hobble Creek Canyon by Cherry Campground. This trail is 3.3 miles long, but can be 2 to 6 miles long, depending on how you combine it with other trails. The trail follows a stream and ends in a beautiful meadow.

 To get there, take Canyon Drive for 2.5 miles into Hobble Creek Canyon. Past the golf course, the road splits. Take the right fork for about 1.5 miles. The parking lot is on your right after Cherry Campground.

Instead of Provo River Parkway, try… Spanish Fork River Trail

An alternative to the Provo River Trail is the Spanish Fork River Trail. This 4.4-mile trail is less than a year old. It is great for running, strolling, or biking.

 To get there, take the Highway 6 exit off I-15 heading towards Price. Continue on Highway 6 for 4 miles and then turn right on Powerhouse Road. Park at Canyon View Park and join the trail there.

 Instead of Battle Creek Falls, try…(read the rest of the story)

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by: Sarah Toller

Comfort is often found in the food we grew up with as a child. I have fond memories of camping in the mountains with hot dogs and s’mores over the fire, pizza at parties with soft drinks, and the decadent desserts we enjoyed as a family. Unfortunately, these foods are what contributed to me getting sick.

After making what many people viewed as a drastic change in my eating, I started bringing my own food to parties and family gatherings. Raw pizza with plenty of green salad and fruit graced my plate as I noticed weird looks from others at the table. Occasionally someone got up the nerve to ask what I was eating, making looks and comments of disgust after finding out. This hurt my feelings as I took their words to heart and I began withdrawing from these events to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

Not long afterward, however, I realized this was only hurting me so I decided not to allow their comments or actions determine what I ate and how I felt. As I took care of myself, I became more confident and healthy and others took notice.

Friends and family asked me different questions with genuine interest. These were perfect opportunities for me to help educate them about the reasons I decided to eat more raw foods and the many benefits I received because of it. Sometimes they asked if they could taste my food followed by a request for the recipes. I was elated and appreciated their authenticity.

Many people struggle in social situations because they have different nutritional needs due to food allergies and ill health. If this is you, here are some great tips to help you navigate the occasion with ease.

TIPS FOR THE GUEST:

1. Eat before you go so you are full and can enjoy socializing without worrying about the food.
2. Position yourself in a different part of the room away from the food as you talk.
3. Bring something to share with everyone that your family or friends love. Be ready to share the recipe.
4. Choose larger amounts of the foods you can have like the salads, fruit, vegetables, etc. and skip what you’ll regret later.
5. Go early to help the host prepare the food and politely ask if you can leave the croutons on the side of the salad instead of putting them in, for example.
6. If the host takes extra care to make something special for you, be sure to thank them and show your appreciation for their extra attention to detail.
7. Put your thick skin on and don’t worry about what other people say about your food. Realize that many people aren’t trying to be insensitive, they genuinely want to understand your situation. Educate them about it and be open, honest and kind in your replies.
8. If you are the parent of a child with special food needs, bring something for them to eat and/or share to ease the burden of the host.
9. Teach your child to be polite and not make a big deal about what they can’t eat or don’t like. They can decline what is being offered and thank the host for their hospitality.
10. Keep your conversation about a variety of different topics other than just food. Be interesting and genuinely interested in others.

TIPS FOR THE HOST:

If you are the host of the event, you may want to prepare ahead with the following suggestions.

1. On the invitations…(read the rest of the story)

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by:Wendy Thueson

In speaking with Jared about his race experience, it turns out that he was not utilizing his statistics knowledge to determine his race pace.  It was more about how he felt during the race.  Jared said, “I went into the race knowing what pace I could run.  When they (Tyler Pennell, Galen Rupp, and Meb Keflezighi) took off faster, I realized I couldn’t run that pace and decided to not cover their move completely hoping at least one of them would come back to me.”  However, Jared did increase his pace from around 5:05 to 4:50, then back to around 5:00 for a while to not let them get too far away.  There are so many physical and psychological factors that go into performance that being too set on a specific pace will often lead to hampered performance.  Jared tries to combine what he knows about his ability and what occurs during the race, “I focus on balancing what others are doing in their strategy with the pacing strategy that I’m hoping for on that given day.”

Among amateur racers, we often see more of a focus on reacting to what others do more than what is best for an individual strategy.  While watching the 2016 Utah High School State Championships for track and field in May, I noticed how many different strategies there were for pacing.

Lap splits are included in the results for the Utah State Meet.  Browsing through those makes it clear that pacing mistakes were made.  In some cases, a fast early pace leads to very slow final laps.  Other athletes begin the race very slowly and even with finishing fast, end up many places beneath their potential.

Overall, a nearly even pacing strategy through the majority of the race will lead to the best possible times.  In the 1994 Los Angeles Marathon, Paul Pilkington was paid to be a rabbit through 25km.  He went out at the correct pace, but the other athletes did not stay with him.  He felt strong and decided he might as well finish.  With a two-minute lead, he continued on at a similar pace.  He crossed the line in 2:12:13 winning $27,000 and a Mercedes.  After the race he had to rush home to teach his writing class at Washington High School the next morning and trade in his family van that had 100,000 miles on it.

Motivated runners can push themselves to the limits of performance.  Starting a race too fast and finishing with great effort, but a slow time is not nearly as fun at racing at the right pace and achieving a personal record.

Jared learned from his master’s thesis that even experienced runners tend to start too fast.  He studied split times from the Saint George Marathon and found those that achieved their time goals had the third quarter of the race as the fastest, while the majority that failed in their time goals ran the first quarter as their fastest.  So, choose the right average pace from training results with a coach’s help, run that pace early on, and see how your body responds in the final stages.

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

Written by: Ian Hunter, PhD

The bond and stock markets have been stuck in a range for about the past 18 months.  The Dow Jones Average keeps moving back and forth between 16,000 and 18,000.  For investors, this can be very frustrating.  It feels like you are running in place and making no progress.

It has been said that patience is the greatest virtue. We live in a world where it seems that patience has been forgotten. In our “instant everything” world people want it all, and they want it now. They don’t think in terms of paying the price or investing for the long-term. They act on a whim, rather than follow a long-term plan.

Mountain View High School in Orem has always had a very successful track team with several runners nationally ranked. I asked their coach why his runners are so successful. I thought he would tell me strategies that help make his athletes stronger and faster. Instead, he shared with me his secret that was completely different than I expected. He said that much of their success comes from learning to pace themselves. They must have the patience to wait for the perfect time to make their final move to win the race. Counterintuitively, even in running, a sport that is built around speed, exercising patience is critical to success.

Every autumn I spend some of my spare time hunting for big game animals. I focus my efforts on finding animals that have “record book” potential. In order to locate them, I backpack into places rarely traveled. Often I come back empty handed. In my quest to find trophies, I have traveled to some very dangerous parts of the world. In order to succeed, I often hunt differently than traditional hunters. While there are several factors that contribute to my success, I believe that extreme patience is the most significant.

Patience is also a key attribute for successful investors, but…(read the rest of the story)

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness

In post-war England, most children’s hospitals had a visitor’s policy that may shock you: children in long-term treatment for serious conditions were only allowed about one hour per week of visiting time from their parents. The prevailing thought was that too much “molly-coddling” would weaken the child.

A psychologist named John Bowlby didn’t agree. He did research to demonstrate that when parents visited, kids did better – they were happier, and their physical well-being improved during the short visits from parents. Dr Bowlby went on to develop the theory of attachment, which states that children rely on a secure base (usually their parents) to feel safe, gain confidence, and thrive in a difficult and complicated world. Ongoing research showed that kids who were given lots of attention and unconditional love were happier, healthier, and grew up to be more successful in many ways.

Parent-child bonds grow in both good times and bad times. Positive moments between kids and parents are memorable and important, but so are the caring responses parents give to kids who are physically or emotionally hurt. You might remember going to your parents after falling off the jungle gym or being bullied. They couldn’t always “fix” your problems, but injuries and disappointments were somehow magically repaired with hugs, kisses, and kind words. The sense of security and love you felt took the edge off the pain, and increased your overall confidence.

Recognizing and reinforcing your role as a secure base for your kids might be the greatest gift you can give them as a parent. Here are four ways you can build on this relationship:

Time

One of the big questions in parenting, which is more important: quality time, or quantity time? How about both! Quantity is important – spending time with someone leads to a feeling of comfort and safety, which inspires open conversation. The precious moment when your child opens up to you only comes after hours of seemingly mundane shared time. Quality time is also important: this doesn’t have to be fun parks and ice cream, it just means giving that person your full attention. We all know what it feels like to be with someone who isn’t really there. Rolling the ball along the floor with your toddler is one of the best ways to connect with them, unless you’re talking on the phone with someone else the whole time.

Touch

To some this comes easily, but to others…(read the rest of the story)

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness