For most of us, depression is something that comes and goes. For a few of us, it’s something that comes and stays – for reasons that we don’t always know or understand. When we lose someone lose to us or have a situation that hurts, we might feel down. This type of depression can be situational more than anything else. This happens often after women give birth. For months following, they might feel down or blue. If they are able to pull themselves out of it through sleep, eating well, taking a shower, reading a book or some any other way that they use to cope, then its usually not post-partum depression. If it doesn’t go away after these attempts, it can be something more serious and may need medical or professional help. Depression is the same way. We can’t expect to pull ourselves out of depression on our own when it is the more serious type. Counselors are trained professionals who can help. Many of them will utilize the power of your relationships and invite your family to attend sessions. This helps because you are then able to connect to those who matter most and work it out together.

Every now and then, most of us feel down or blue – this is different than depression. Situational sadness comes and goes with whatever is getting us down. For example, if you don’t get recognized for something you worked hard at, you will probably feel sad. After time, your sadness will start to disappear. It isn’t as sad over time. This is situational. Depression, on the other hand, seems to last beyond these events. Even when something potentially sad has come and gone and if there is seemingly no reason to feel sad, you still might feel sad. This can especially be true in the winter. The days are shorter and colder. This causes most of us to stop moving as much, and to stay inside. We then lack exercise and sun light. On top of that, with the Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s, we tend to eat food that isn’t as healthy. We eat more sugar. This all contributes to feeling sad when we don’t seem to have anything to be sad about. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is what happens to many people during the winter months. Most people don’t realize they have this type of problem, they just think that they are down or blue. It is more than just having the ‘winter blues’. It impedes you in your daily life and interferes with your functioning. Recognizing that you have SAD will help you know what to do to overcome and let go of it. Some of the symptoms include: feeling sad, losing interest once enjoyed, change in appetite, change in sleep (usually sleeping more), loss of energy, restless activity, feeling worthless or guilty, trouble making decisions, and thoughts of suicide or death. If you think you might have this type of depression talk with a therapist today.

Sometimes the holidays hurt. When we have lost loved ones or when we are reminded of what we used to have, the holidays can turn from joyous to painful. During these times, it’s important to remember a few things. First, let the pain come in – embrace it. There is no need to try and hide from it or run. If we try to hide from it or ignore it, we often develop addictions to cover what we are feeling – ways to numb ourselves from uncomfortable emotions. In this numbed state, we don’t ever get to embrace and subsequently let go of painful emotions. It’s important to remember that in order to let go of something, we first have to have it (embrace it). Remember that these emotions come and go, they won’t stay with us forever. Second, find a way to honor your loved ones who have gone on or circumstances lost. I spoke with a friend once who had dealt with the loss of a job and a more abundant life. During times when this was more apparent, he was able to be grateful for the relationship he had and focus on enjoying them above all else. After having material possessions and different opportunities pass him by he realized what is most important as he put his life back together. As he did this, he was able to be grateful for past opportunities and current blessings. Third, some find comfort in having what I call ‘Present Mindedness’ – the ability to be in the moment. We let ourselves enjoy the here and now without stopping ourselves because we need to maintain anger or sadness from the past or from other current situations. We don’t have to punish ourselves – we deserve to be happy now.