The show Fear Factor is about fighting your fears. In the show, you can see people leaping from tall buildings, grab unimaginable stuff (dead rats, pig intestines, etc) using your mouth, being enclosed in tight spaces and eating all manner of gross objects. The toughest and the fastest contestant wins the grand prize. And people do their best to get through the stunts and the tests for the prize, usually amounting to $50,000.

However, there are people who can’t face their fears even if you offered to pay them a million dollars. To a person with a phobia, the fear just debilitates.

More on Phobias

With a phobia, the fear is intense, persistent, excessive and often unfounded or illogical. Although fear is a natural (and healthy) defense mechanism that can warn us of dangers, those with a phobia have taken fear to a higher level. The fear they feel is often disproportionate to the actual situation and the danger it presents. The fear is often illogical because it is caused by things that will not happen, things that have happened already and can’t be changed or things that are insignificant and not truly dangerous.

There is a long list of things people have phobias with: spiders, rats, snakes, thunderstorms, riding in planes, heights, and the number thirteen. Sometimes the fear is about relating to other people in social situations. And the list goes on…

Here are some interesting phobia facts and figures:
–    Roughly 6 million Americans have a specific phobia while some 11 million suffer from generalize phobia such as social phobia or agoraphobia (fear of open spaces).
–    Females are more likely to develop a phobia than males.
–    Social phobia is one of the more common phobias, as well as fear of speaking in public and fear of death.

When a person with a phobia is exposed to the thing he or she fears, he can suffer from intense distress. Some symptoms may include:
–    Excessive sweating and shaking
–    Shortness of breath or the feeling of being choked
–    Nausea or dizziness
–    Breathing problems
–    Palpitations and chest pains
–    Fainting
–    Numbness
–    Heart palpitations resulting in panic attacks or heart attacks
–    Hot or cold flashes

The fear is debilitating in that it interferes with the person’s ability to live a normal life and perform day-to-day and work activities. For instance, a sales person cannot successfully do his duties when he is afraid of flying. Or, a person who is afraid of heights may simply refuse a position just because the office is situated at the top of a high rise. Another example would be a person who would prefer letting his teeth rot because he is afraid of going to the dentist.

Therapy for Phobias

Learning relaxation techniques. Being able to relax can help ward of anxiety that may be welling up as a result of exposure to your phobia. You can learn to breathe deeply to slow your heart rate down and minimize the adrenaline that aggravates the “fight or flight” mechanism in you.

If you suffer from a phobia, it is best to go to a Utah therapist earlier on. Over time, the phobia becomes more complex and debilitating because of extreme measures one performs in order to avoid the source of his fear.

Utah counselors can help those with a phobia to come to terms with their fears and be able to face them so that they eventually do not produce the same level of anxiety and panic in them. In fact, therapists in Utah consider specific phobia as highly treatable among the anxiety disorders. Usually, exposure therapy is utilized. With this, the patient is exposed to the thing he fears under controlled circumstances.

Provo counselors can provide ways for an individual to cope and process their situations. With constant visits to therapists in Provo, one can eventually unearth the underlying causes for the fear and learn how to deal with the cause themselves.

You anxiously wait for the results. With crossed fingers, you finally dare to take a peek… and heave a sigh of disappointment. It’s negative – just like the other times.

When a couple tries to get pregnant, the hopeful expectations develop into alarm when the “acceptable waiting period” has long since passed and the date with the stork is not forthcoming. They start dreading family and friends who keep asking, “So, when are you having a baby?” The couple decides to seek medical intervention. When the diagnosis points towards infertility, the two spouses may decide to go for infertility treatment. When this happens, it is best to also go for Provo marriage counseling to help deal with the challenges of the situation.

Infertility, Treatments, and its Effect on a Marriage

A baby is a blessing to a loving family. However, not all couples are blessed thusly. Some couples have to face infertility. On top of the medical challenges, infertility treatments can prove to be an emotional roller coaster ride. Without the necessary coping mechanisms and assistance coming from Utah marriage counseling, this struggle to have a baby produces a lot of stress between the two spouses.

Emotional pressure and stress. The treatments are truly stressful for both the husband and wife. As the menstrual period makes its appearance, both spouses experience disappointment after a period of anticipation. This cycle (treatments, anticipation, letdown) takes a huge toll on the couple’s emotions. The couple may also have feelings of loss (for the family they dreamed of), jealousy at other couples and shame (where the inability to bear a child makes the husband feel less like a man and the wife less like a woman).

Sexual tension. With the pre-occupation towards getting pregnant, sex no longer becomes a pleasure, but rather ruled by schedules. At this point, the wife may become demanding and insist that the husband be available and “able to perform” during the time she is ovulating. In turn, the husband, feeling the pressure, may have problems having an erection or maintaining it. There is resentment on the part of the wife (for the husband’s failure to help with the conception) and the husband (for the wife’s expecting command performances from him). There are also feelings of anxiety and disappointment. Thus, the vicious cycle continues.

Financial stress. Infertility treatments cost an arm and a leg. Sometimes, financial worries and disagreements over the treatments can also be a source for conflict such as how long the couple is going for infertility treatments and how much to spend.

Physical challenges. For the woman, infertility treatments are not just uncomfortable. They can be quite painful. The fluctuations in hormones caused by the medications can also result in moodiness and can heighten the stress and disappointment.

Now, what can you do to cope? Here are some things you and your spouse can do:
– Shift the focus from ovulation periods and basal thermometers. It will be helpful for couples (especially for women) to move attention away from menstrual cycles and make sex about intimacy. Procreation, after all, is just one of the aspects of sexual contact. Have fun with your spouse!
– Agree on infertility treatments. Both you and your spouse should agree on the length of time for the infertility treatments and when it is time to stop. You should also agree about alternatives in case the treatments don’t work. For instance, you can explore the prospect of adoption.
– Spend time together “baby-free”. Relate with your spouse without “conception” and “pregnancy” floating over your heads. Schedule nights out, weekend getaways and special dates without discussing how you can get pregnant.
– Seek help. It will help to get couples counseling in Utah to strengthen your husband and wife relationship. Remember, you don’t just need to prepare yourselves physically for parenthood. You also need to have a strong relationship to provide a baby with a loving family environment. During marriage counseling in Utah, be honest about your feelings and thoughts.

The pressure brought about by infertility may shake the foundations of a marriage so that it reaches breaking point. Don’t wait until the cracks have become so huge that family counseling in Utah comes too little, too late. Talk with your spouse and talk with your therapist. This will help you come out stronger as a couple.

A song by Weird Al Yankovic has this tongue-in-cheek take on Passive-Aggressive behavior:

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You’re still the light of my life
Oh darling, I’m begging, won’t you put down that knife

You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer
Sometimes I get to thinking you don’t love me anymore

Exaggerated as this song may be, sometimes couples are guilty of some degree passive-aggressive behavior. On the surface, things are “okay” when they are actually not. And to express that there is something wrong, we behave in a way that tries to send the message indirectly, act in such a way as to punish our spouse or show our disapproval.

Being passive-aggressive is one way of communicating. However, this kind of “communication” is can be considered dishonest. We deny that we are angry and pretend that everything is just the way we want it when they are actually not.  For instance, a spouse who doesn’t want to clean up the garage will put that undesired task indefinitely. Or, complain and sullenly complete the task. Or, when asked to go for Provo marriage counseling, a spouse will make up excuses to delay the visit or always be late for the appointments.

According to Provo marriage counselors, passive-aggressive behavior is not healthy for a marriage. The first step towards more open and honest communications between you and your spouse is to identify some passive-aggressive behaviors you or your spouse may be doing. With an increased awareness of these behaviors, you can already make efforts towards avoiding the said behavior.

Here are some characters that show passive aggressiveness:

The Turtle. Like the turtle, instead of engaging in dialogue about what’s wrong or what the problem is, this kind of behavior will withdraw from the situation and the argument. Whenever you open up a discussion, this spouse will respond with “whatever” or leave the argument outright. The result is that the issue is not threshed out and there is no real communication.

The Denial King. As they say, “Denial is not just a river in Egypt.” Persons who fall under this type of behavior will say, “No problem. I’m not angry. Do whatever you want. I’m fine with it.” But their behaviors belie their smiles and assurances that “it’s ok”. This type of behavior masks the true feelings of anger so that they don’t rock the boat.

The Saboteur.  This behavior will agree and actually do the things he or she does not like, but will do it improperly so as to irritate the person who asked him or her to do it. The act of doing it postpones an argument or disagreement but also results in anger on the part of the person who initiated the task. Another way to try act like the Saboteur is to make the other person wait a long time before a task is done.

The Hasta Mañana Specialist. This behavior will try to put off doing a task even though he or she has already verbally agreed to do it. Another version of this will be to conveniently “forget” the task until it exasperates the other spouse.

The Victim. Instead of accepting responsibility for something or for an action, this type of passive-aggressive behavior will feel that you are unfairly on his or her case. He or she is a victim of unfair treatment. The other spouse is the one who has very high and unreasonable expectations.

Looking at the behaviors, you can see that a marriage can suffer from a lack of communication, an overflow of unexpressed anger and no healthy interactions to solve a certain issue. Now, what can you do to ward off passive-aggressive behavior? Here are some simple steps:
– Remove ambiguity. Be clear and specific so as to avoid misunderstandings or any room for someone to “misinterpret” what you said. Doing so will minimize the potential for conflict.
– Be aware of your behaviors and responses. If you have a spouse who has a tendency to act passive-aggressively, or if you tend to act the same way yourself, be more observant of your own behaviors and reactions. This can be a start of your exploring the patterns that are unhealthy for the relationship/
– Be realistic. Don’t expect too much than what your spouse can give or do willingly. Measure the extent by which he or she will change realistically and work from there.
– Help your spouse accept responsibility for the behavior. It is tempting to shield your spouse from your unhappy feelings (and thus be tempted to be passive-aggressive yourself). However, this will not help your relationship. Using “I” statements rather than “You” statements, tell your spouse how his or her behavior affects those around him or her. Do not let your spouse give excuses for this kind of behavior. When doing this, though, remember that you are pointing out his or her wrong behavior, not attack him or her as a person.
– Fight fair. Avoid trash talking. If things get too hot or off track, you can agree to have a cool down period before you resume your discussion.

These are just simple things you can do. However, it is still recommended that both of you go for Utah marriage counseling to help you be more aware of some passive-aggressive behaviors you may (consciously or unconsciously) be practicing. With the help of an experienced Utah marriage counselor, you can explore the reasons behind the passive-aggressiveness and find ways to resolve these issues.

You can be equipped with a number of communications and coping tools from couples counseling in Utah. With these, you and your spouse can start making headway towards positive communication and away from passive-aggressive behaviors.

Are you or someone you know be considered terminally shy? Would you rather play the wallflower than the life of the party? Do you get more than butterflies in the stomach when you are about to give a speech in public? Being a little jittery about your public appearance or performance is normal, but when it comes to a point when you worry about it for days and the thought of making your speech makes you sick, it may not be just plain shyness. It may be social anxiety disorder or social phobia.

What is social phobia?

Social anxiety disorder is an intense fear of social interaction or social situations. It can be a specific social situation or social situations in general.  It can come when one is standing before a crowd, mingling with other people at a party or other social situations.

There is this desire to interact with other people, but fear surmounts this desire. The fear may be rooted in anxiety about being humiliated, embarrassed or judged and found wanting. The very thought of that social event can cause enough anxiety to make one physically sick.

Symptoms can include:
– profuse sweating, clammy hands, trembling (hands and voice)
– dizziness or feeling faint
– nausea or upset stomach
– shortness of breath
– Being over self-conscious
– Worrying about a prospective social event
– Worrying that others will notice one’s nervousness

Even though the person is conscious that the physical reactions are illogical and exaggerated, he can’t help the way he feels. As a result, someone with social phobia would go to great lengths just to avoid any social situation. He would much rather stay in the background, or, if he really needs to attend a social function, he will need to take someone along to provide support.

And this is something that is not uncommon in the country. Over 10% of the population can be considered as having social anxiety disorder at some point of their life, with slightly more males suffering from the disorder as compared to females. The shyness may already be having a strong impact in their lives – especially if the person finds it hard to go for job interviews and interact with other people. A person with social phobia can get Provo counseling to put a stop to the fear and how it negatively affects his ability to live a normal life.

The good news is that one can learn to overcome social anxiety disorder and start enjoying the company of others and coming out of one’s shell. Aside from coming for Utah counseling, one can also:
– Be aware of triggers. To manage the phobia, it is good to start recognizing events or situations that trigger the phobia and get advice from Utah counselors for ways to cope with these situations. These triggers include:
o   Being called to speak in public
o   Having other people’s attention focused on you (like being asked to go to the board in class, speaking during a meeting and so on)
o   Mingling at parties
o   Introducing yourself to new people
o   Performing for an audience
o   Eating out at restaurants
– Practice calming and relaxation techniques. When you are nervous, the tendency is to hyperventilate. As you lose control of your breath, you start palpitating, your muscles harden, you get all choked up and dizzy. Learn to take deep calming breaths so as to alleviate the symptoms.
– Question negative attitudes and thoughts. Sometimes the fear is triggered by one’s negative imagination. You start thinking negatively and you see all the possible bad things that can happen. Such thoughts can be debilitating. Based on the advice of Provo counselors, you can counter the onset of your fear by challenging the negative thoughts. Ask, “What’s the probability of that actually happening?”, “Will people really laugh at me even when I get nervous?” “Will the situation really be disastrous?” One way to help counter negative thoughts is to observe what other people are actually saying and doing, rather than your negative thoughts.
– Rather than dwell on the negative, think of the positive. Think of what you stand to gain by doing what you feared. Imagine your act as going one step closer to your goals – getting that job promotion, being able to improve your social life, or doing well in class.
– Instead of avoiding what you fear, face them. The more you avoid what you fear, in this case, social interaction, the more you become fearful of them. Facing what you fear is your definitive step to breaking the cycle. Of course, you cannot expect to face your biggest fears right off the bat. Start with baby steps and take on more challenges as you grow in confidence.

These are just some things you can do to conquer your fears. However, there are times when you need to go to of Provo therapists to become equipped with more techniques to cope and finally overcome your social phobia. Your fears may seem insurmountable, but one can climb the top of the highest mountain with patience, determination and a lot of help.

Let’s start off by acknowledging that fights between spouses are normal. When two people live and relate to each other in the closeness of marriage, they are bound to get into a disagreement. What is important is how they fight and what the couple does after the fight.

The heat of an argument can result in raised voices, unfair accusations and hurtful words. During that time, you may get mad at your spouse. However, after the argument is over, what do you do? Do you kiss and make up? Do you apologize if ever you resorted into unfair fighting practices? When two spouses are able to reconcile and talk about the matter more calmly after the storm has passed, it is a good sign of the strength of a marriage. It shows that despite the anger you felt during the argument, it doesn’t take away the love.

When a couple is able to talk it out after a fight, that very fight can become a learning experience for the couple. First, it teaches the couple to communicate in order to resolve conflict. Second, it enables the couple to explore the ways by which the issue can be properly resolved whenever it comes up in the future. You can also get into an agreement about how you can fight fairly and how you can avoid fighting unfairly whenever you get into a spat.

Talking, reconciling and resolving the issues calmly are ideal behaviors for a couple, according to Utah marriage counselors. However, not all couples behave this way. There are some negative behaviors that a couple can resort to after a fight. Sadly, though, these behaviors are destructive and can wreak more damage on the marriage.

Engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Passive-aggressive behaviors make a pretense that everything is okay while doing things that say otherwise. For instance, after a fight, one spouse could do the task being argued about but do it so badly that it irritates the other spouse. Or, after an argument, one tries to make it hard for the other person to complete something. Passive-aggressive behavior is rooted in anger which is suppressed and unexpressed. The spouse who tends to behave passive-aggressively may need the help of family counseling in Provo to fight against the temptation of acting that way.

Ignoring the other spouse. Giving the other spouse the silent treatment is another negative behavior after the fight. It is one way to punish or wreak revenge on the other spouse – albeit in an immature and manipulative way. It sends out the message, “Since you did not give in to what I want, I will withhold pretend that I don’t see you, that you don’t even exist.” It is manipulative since the silent treatment attempts to get what the spouse wants. Also, giving your spouse the silent treatment means there was no dialogue between you, your spouse does not fully understand what he or she did wrong. Thus, there is no understanding as to how the situation can be rectified.

Delivering ultimatums. Threatening divorce every time you get into an argument is not helpful, especially if your spouse knows that you don’t really plan to go through with it. It’s a lose-lose proposition. If your spouse recognizes that you’re not serious with your threat, he or she won’t take you seriously. If he or she does comply due to your threats, your spouse will do it but resent it because you are forcing his or her hand.

Keeping tabs on your hurt feelings. Love, as the Bible describes it, keeps no record of wrongs. However, there are people who simply can’t get over the hurt and holds on to the anger (and to the hurt caused by the actions of the other spouse). Past hurts are brought up and rehashed. Over time, the grudges and resentments grow. When left unattended and without the help of  couples counseling in Utah, refusing to grant complete forgiveness to a spouse can wreak serious damage to the relationship.

Learning from Fights

Fights are opportunities to learn more about yourself and your spouse. Nothing brings out the worst out of us than that kind of tension. But it is also how you can learn and grow by discovering positive ways to react when you and your partner disagree. Provo marriage counseling can provide you an increased awareness of you and your spouse’s reactions.

Utah marriage counseling can equip you with essential communication skills so that you can effectively resolve conflicts. This includes learning to recognize the negative behaviors you do during and after a fight. It is particularly tempting to indulge in these behaviors but it is important to recognize that these won’t do your marriage any good.

Sexual addiction: it’s something that brings shame and guilt – a personal secret that affects an individual in the core of his or her being. Sex addicts are consumed by sex and thoughts of sex that there is difficulty connecting with other people and building quality relationships.

The obsession will also impact other aspects of the addict’s life since the compulsion leads him or her to act regardless of negative effects to his or her financial, emotional, health and social situation. Sex addicts don’t care how and where they get their satisfaction as long as they get it, even when there obviously is no bond with sex partners.

Sex addicts are prone towards taking serious risks – engaging in sexual activities that may be hazardous not just to his or her relationship but also to his or her health. The acts may include:
– Being a peeping tom
– The use of pornography, phone sex or cybersex
– Going for casual, anonymous sex (i.e. having sex with prostitutes, one night stands, etc.)
– Indecent exposure
– Masturbation whenever the mood strikes
– Making obscene calls
– Sexual harassment, molestation or rape

The advent of the internet has made this addiction easier to indulge. The addict can obtain his “fix” online or arrange for hookups via the web.

According to statistics, some nine million Americans suffer from some form of sex addiction. The problem is further compounded by the fact that those struggling with a sex addiction also have substance abuse issues (i.e. the use of alcohol or drugs).

In the context of a married couple, sex addiction will have a profound effect on the relationship, especially upon the discovery of the addiction by the other spouse.  A married couple may need serious couples counseling in Provo for recovery from the devastation brought about by the sex addiction, as well as Utah substance abuse counseling to deal with the drug or alcohol abuse.

The Effect of Sex Addictions on a Marriage

The sexual addiction is wounding, especially for the other partner. Not only are emotional barriers built between the sex addict and his or her partner, it also builds feelings of insecurity and bitterness due to the seemingly unreasonable expectations and pressure brought on by the sexual compulsion. Sex between the married couple loses its joy and wonder, as it competes with the partner’s sexual addiction. There may also be issues with marital infidelity. Even the seemingly “innocent” act of looking at pornography can cause pain and bitterness, if one partner is not okay with this form of “adult entertainment”.

Fighting Sex Addiction

The first step is for a sex addict to want to stop and believe that he or she can do so. This can sometimes be a struggle since the sex addict is not even aware that he or she has an addiction. The other partner should not feel obligated to bear the burden of overcoming the addiction (which is properly the responsibility of the one with the addiction). However, the partner should also be patient and realistic in his or her expectations about the partner’s recovery.

Treatment of the sexual addiction would involve discovering how one can control the addictive behavior so that the individual can eventually develop a healthy sexuality. The treatment may also include couples or family therapy.

Therapy can be helpful for the couple to:
– Understand the issues surrounding the addiction
– Start the road to healing – for the addicted partner to heal from feelings of guilt and isolation and for the other partner to overcome feelings of bitterness and insecurity.
– Be equipped with tools to cope with the effects of the addiction, as well as tools to strengthen the marriage and family bond.
– Draft a recovery plan and break addictive patterns by having strategies as to how to act and react when the impulses strike and how to manage the stress that may arise.

Therapy in Provo, Utah

Recovery from sex addiction can be a challenge for the individual and the people he loves. But with the help of an experienced Provo, Utah counselor, the barriers are not insurmountable. A marriage can emerge stronger, more loving. Dr. Triston Morgan offers individual and family therapy for couples and families in Utah who struggle from these problems.

Marriage is supposed to be a bond that is so close that two people become one. Marriage should ideally be a place where you feel free to show your true self, knowing that your partner will love and accept you as you are. However, it is also the union of two imperfect humans. What makes it more complicated is that there are other factors that can affect a marriage and its intimacy – issues with money, raising up children, dealing with in-laws and so on.

But if a married couple wants to enjoy more intimacy or to at least maintain a certain level of intimacy, they need to work at these barriers. Mind you, intimacy is not just about the sexual aspect of the relationship. More than that, it is “being one” on other levels – emotionally and intellectually.

The first step to building intimacy is to identify some of the barriers that prevent a couple’s closeness. By being pro-active, you can know what hinders you and your spouse from achieving the level of intimacy you want and work from there. Here are some barriers that rob the joy from (and could potentially destroy) a marriage:

Lack of self awareness. The adage, “Know thyself.” is a challenge, but it is necessary in building intimacy between you and your spouse. The more we know ourselves (our strengths, our weaknesses, our desires), the more we are able to share these to our spouse. We also tend to be more comfortable, more in control about ourselves and our actions and reactions when we are more self-aware. To help prevent lack of self-awareness from rearing its ugly head, we need to take it upon ourselves to deal with unresolved emotional and psychological issues that we have, as we proceed towards knowing more and more about ourselves. If you need some help with this, you can consider going for some personal counseling. Counseling can help us deal with emotional baggage, as well as our unmet needs (and how we can communicate this to our spouse)
Lack of communication. Intimacy involves communication – the sharing of what we feel, who we are, what we think. Without communication, our spouse will not know us on a deeper level, and vice versa. Also, when we fail to communicate how we feel, as we often do when we don’t want to rock the boat, feelings of resentment and bitterness can pile up and even explode at unexpected times.
Problems with physical intimacy. A couple may have issues with sexual compatibility or physical intimacy. Even though sex is just one aspect of a couple’s intimacy, a satisfying sex life can bring a couple closer and forge a bond. A problem with physical intimacy (i.e. wrong concepts about sex, fear of being touched, etc.) can lead to sexual dissatisfaction. Those who have issues with physical intimacy may benefit from couples  therapy in Provo, where an experienced counselor can help you explore the reasons behind these issues.
Lack of time. The tyranny of the urgent. Pressing commitments, demands for attention from children, deadlines from work – all these eat up time. Building intimacy also needs time – time for you to enjoy and experience each other, time for you to simply sit and communicate. Often, it may demand for you to set priorities. Make it a point to set time just for the both of you.
Infidelity. The loss of trust brought on by infidelity may be a hard barrier to overcome. Trust has to be earned back and this may take some work and time, as well as some marriage therapy.
Conflicts. When you are at odds with each other, this will naturally affect your closeness as a couple. Conflicts may cover a wide range of concerns – money, priorities, incompatibility with your core values and so on.
Addictions. Substance abuse problems (drugs and alcohol), as well as other addictions (pornography, gambling, etc.) can suck a lot of positive energy from a relationship. The other partner’s pre-occupation is with the addiction and this negatively impacts the relationship. Sexual intimacy is affected by a partner’s addiction to pornography – where the other partner is left with feelings of insecurity while the other partner has to deal with unmet expectations compounded by feelings of guilt. You may need to consider getting Utah substance abuse counseling for the partner who is addicted.

The good news is that a couple can rise above barriers to intimacy. It may be a challenge but it can be done. With the help of an experienced marriage counselor, you can take the first step towards breaking down these barriers and starting the never-ending journey of becoming one.

If you are located in Provo, Utah, do visit Dr. Triston Morgan. Dr. Morgan has years of marriage counseling and therapy under his belt. As a therapist licensed to practice in Utah, he has been helping couples strengthen their marriage bonds and enjoy a deeper level of intimacy.

A marriage, a family has its stages. So you have lived through the highs and lows of marriage and parenting. You rejoiced at the news of each new addition to the family. You have struggled through sleepless nights caring for your young children. You survived the terrible twos and the teenage years. You wiped away tears of pride as you watched your children grow and move through the next phases of their lives – graduation, getting a job, getting married.

And the whirlwind of activities suddenly quiets down. The chicks have flown the coop – the nest you have lovingly built is now empty. After all the frenzy of activity, you now find yourself alone with your spouse. This “new-found freedom and independence” you once longed for suddenly becomes a not-so- attractive prospect. When you let your identity and purpose be defined by your children and you suddenly “lose” them to adulthood, this may require a lot of adjustment on you and your spouse’s part.

With a little help from couples counseling in Provo, as well as your proactive moves towards dealing with the empty nest syndrome, you can make the transition easier. Here are some ways for you to deal with the empty nest syndrome:
– Acknowledge that you need time to grieve. There will be feelings of loss or sadness at the knowledge that you can no longer peep into their bedrooms and tuck them into bed, or have petty arguments about their wardrobe choice. Naturally, you will be missing your kids. Allow yourself the time and the chance to grieve.
– Line up activities for you and your spouse. Prepare for the things you want to do now that you have more time for yourselves. Think of activities you want to indulge in individually and as a couple. This is a perfect opportunity for you and your spouse to rediscover yourselves and your relationship.
– Get a little help from friends. Chances are, you also will have friends who are facing the same predicament. Get a support network; you don’t have to go at it alone. But take note that this is not a time to look towards your children as your support network. Remember that they, too, are facing a major phase in their lives. Aside from friends, you can also turn to a Utah family counselor for some advice and tools to cope.
– Rediscover your marriage and your spouse. The empty nest is one of the reasons for divorce, especially when a couple has drifted apart and the only bond that had held them together is the children. A couple may discover that they are disconnected with each other and may need some marriage counseling Utah.
– Remind yourself that you are still your children’s parent. Whether your child is 4 or 44, you will still be “mom” or “dad”. Although the way you take care of them will be different, you can still find opportunities to provide the support that your children need. You can commit to keep in touch, to make regular calls and visits while giving your children the space they also need to grow

When professional counseling is needed

There will also be times when the empty nest results in feelings of overwhelming sadness or grief. This may indicate that you are becoming depressed. It is important to be aware of the symptoms of depression. Aside from feelings of sadness that often overpower you and your ability to function normally, depression is marked by changes in sleeping patterns (oversleeping or having difficulty sleeping), changes in appetite and loss of motivation or interest. Feel free to seek counseling.

If you are living in Provo, Utah and are considering getting counseling, feel free to call Dr. Triston Morgan. Dr. Morgan is a licensed marriage and family counselor and has provided helpful therapy for struggling individuals, couples and families.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, known as PTSD, is unique in that it requires experiencing a traumatic outside event. PTSD is often simultaneously associated with war veterans returning from battle with vivid, graphic events that trigger PTSD “shell shock” symptoms. Other experiences, e.g., domestic violence, sexual assault, car accidents, natural disasters and death of a loved one, can contribute to PTSD. Classic symptoms of PTSD include being in a mental state where someone feels as though they are re-experiencing the devastating trauma or everything around them triggers negative memories related to the ordeal.

Utah counselors receive special training and are well equip to help people suffering from PTSD. Therapists in Provo are able to make a valid PTSD diagnosis. In order to receive a PTSD diagnosis, a person must have experienced a situation where he/she felt his/her life and/or safety was imminently threatened or been in a situation where he/she experienced fear, helplessness and/or horror. Obviously, the worse the experienced trauma, the more symptoms manifest to acute or severe degrees.

Medical science shows that MRI (Magnetic Radioactive Imaging) and PET (Positron Emission Tomography) brain scans are markedly different before and after PTSD trauma. In theU.S., studies have been conducted and show that 60% of men and 50% of women experience some type of traumatic event. Of those that experience a traumatic event, 8% of men and nearly 20% of women may ultimately develop psychological effects related to PTSD.

People who have awaked during surgery to feel extreme pain, but are unable to communicate, are also at a higher risk for developing PTSD and often experience extremely vivid flashbacks of this painful trauma.

PTSD does have marked psychological symptoms, including:

• Flashbacks – Often these images compare to people seeing a horror movie and it constantly replays in their minds. The vivid images the brain produces, makes people react physically as well because the mind and body become convinced they are reliving the trauma. Often, war veterans may experience bloody battle scenes and rape victims may re-experience the torturous event.
• Emotional Detachment – Often people suffering from PTSD avoid people, places or activities that may trigger memories of the trauma. This type of detachment leaves people feeling emotionally drained with significant difficulty functioning normally in their day-to-day activities. This emotional detachment or numbness is often a coping mechanism.
• Jumpiness – Often people suffering from PTSD experience “hyperactive startle reflex.” For example, war veterans hearing fireworks may experience triggered memories associated with gunfire and combat.

If a person experiences a traumatic event and PTSD symptoms last more than a month and affects someone’s ability to function normally, it is best to seek counseling from licensed therapists in Utah.

More than 19 million adults in the U.S.suffer from anxiety disorders. Women have a higher diagnosis of anxiety than men do but race is not a factor in predicting anxiety. Provo counseling specializes in working with patients who suffer from anxiety disorders, helping them regain control of their lives.

Today’s medical community has a great understanding and increased knowledge surrounding anxiety. Anxiety is a mental response to physical and/or mental stimuli and upon being provoked causes a physical reaction. The general, most common symptoms of anxiety disorders include:

• Obsessive thoughts that are often uncontrollable and consuming
• Vivid flashbacks or thoughts of traumatic experiences
• Difficulty sleeping
• Overwhelming feelings of panic, fear, dread and/or uneasiness
• Nightmares
• Heart Palpitations
• Dizziness
• Extreme muscle tension
• Nausea
• Difficulty breathing and/or shortness of breath
• Numbness or tingling in extremities
• Dry mouth
• Difficulty remaining still and/or calm
• Ritualistic behaviors, e.g., excessive hand washing
• Extremely cold or sweaty hands and/or feet

Medical science indicates that while the exact cause of anxiety is unknown, it does involve a combination of environmental and physical factors. Changes in brain chemistry coupled with environmental stress trigger anxiety. Long ago anxiety was thought to be a personal character flaw or due to upbringing, though these ascertains have been refuted. Anxiety is a real, documented medical condition. Science also indicates that anxiety disorders are more common in families, pointing to a biological trait or a gene(s) that coupled with certain environmental stimuli or trauma can become triggered.

While anxiety is not preventable, it can be reduced or controlled. Seeking the guidance of Utah counselors is recommended, as they are specialists trained to diagnosis and treat all types of anxiety. People can help reduce anxiety by decreasing caffeine consumption and confirming with a doctor and/or pharmacist that over the counter products do not contain medication(s) that increases anxiety symptoms. Most importantly, therapists in Provo can work with people that have experienced trauma to help reduce anxiety and learn appropriate coping mechanisms, which can include Psychotherapy and/or Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.