You notice your teen acting strangely lately, but you shrug it off with the thought that teens do act strange and that it is just his “emo” phase. But is it really? Is it just a teen’s moods swings (which is normal) or is it already depression? How can you even know?

Depressing Facts about this Mental Illness

Depression is a mental illness. It is not just having an “emo phase”, which can be normal during the teenage years.  The teenage years are a source of a lot of drama between the parents and the teen. This is a time of great upheaval – the teen is facing confusion about his identity, his transition from childhood into adulthood. Add in peer pressure, stress from school and home and other setbacks in life into the mix and you may have a teen who feels sad and angry. But normally, these feelings fade over time.

Not so with depression. Depression is a mental state or mood that persists for weeks, even months. There is an overwhelming sense of despair, guilt or even anger. And depression can hit teens and hit hard. According to statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), about 1 in every 12 teens are affected with depression. And this will rise to be 3 in every 12 teens by the time these teens reach age 18. In addition, one out of every 5 teens who have suffered from clinical depression will also carry this well into adulthood.

There are many types of depression that can strike teenagers:

Major depression. The sad mood that persists is already affecting the teen’s ability to function normally – to eat, sleep and study. There is a constant feeling of helplessness and an inability to feel happy.

Bipolar disorder. This is marked by alternating moods. One moment, your teen can’t seem to be bothered to even lift a finger and in another moment there is high (though negative) energy. One moment, your teen explodes into a temper tantrum and then in another dissolves into tears with no apparent. Bipolar disorder is usually developed during the late teens and early adulthood and may strike 1 to 2% of teens.

Dysthymia. This is marked by irritability, sadness, feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem but is not as severe as major depression. However, the feelings may last for a long time, in some cases for more than a year.

Dealing with teen depression

The good news is that depression can be treated successfully. The bad news is that depression is just attributed as a phase and only about 1 out of 5 teens get treated. As parents and caregivers of teens, it is important that we are on the lookout for the red flags that point towards depression to ensure that our teens get the help they need.

Note the following red flags; consider the length and severity wherein these symptoms have been present and lastly, how large the disparity of the child’s present behavior as opposed to his “usual” self.

–          Increased behaviors that point towards anger, sadness, hopelessness, irritability or hostility

–          Increased frequency of crying and temper tantrums. The teen may cry for no obvious reason.

–          Increased withdrawal from family and even from past friends. The teen may avoid social or family activity and would rather be alone.

–          The teen constantly has no energy or motivation and may start neglecting their hygiene and appearance.

–          Loss of interest in sports, hobbies and activities that the teen used to enjoy.

–          Shifts in bedtime and eating habits. May exhibit signs of an eating disorder – loss of appetite, unexplained weight gain or weight loss.

–          Lack of the ability to focus.

–          Comments about suicide or death, especially those that mention these as being beneficial or advantageous to him (i.e. “Perhaps more people will love me if I’m gone.”)

–          Increased complaints about stomachaches, headaches, back pains and dizziness where there is no medical cause.

–          Deteriorating school performance – drop in grades, discipline problems at school and truancy.

–          Preoccupation with sadness and death, may exhibit self-destructive behavior

–          Makes effort to run away from home or talks about it

Also take note that in some teens, depression may be predominantly marked by hostility, irritability and aggression rather than sadness.

Getting help

With teen depression, there is a tendency to act in self-destructive ways – attempt suicide, abuse drugs or alcohol, exhibit reckless behavior that may endanger self or others and so on. Suicide ranks in the top 3 causes of deaths among American teens. That is why it is important to get an early diagnosis and seek help from Provo counselors.

Getting a counselor that is not just qualified and trained but also experienced in handling troubled teens will be particularly helpful. If necessary, you must also get the help of a Provo substance abuse counselor to deal with alcohol or drug abuse.

A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that prevention programs, including individual or family counseling in Utah and therapeutic boarding schools, can really help to arrest the negative effects of teen depression. And by doing so, these also prevent alcohol and drug use or abuse, eating disorders and so on.  Teens usually need to simply get the tools to help him deal with teen depression.

If you are looking for an experienced family counselor in Provo, Utah, do give Dr. Triston Morgan a call. He has extensive experience in working with troubled teens, especially those with substance abuse issues. He provides his therapy in a non-confrontational environment that helps the child open up.

 

Seeing red when a driver cuts in front of you or steals a parking slot you already have. Raising your voice when talking to a particularly insensitive customer service agent. Getting irritated when you get a prank call at 3 a.m. We all have felt the full range of anger – from mild annoyance to intense rage. It’s normal to feel angry. Anger, after all, is one of the emotions in our bag of human feelings and expressed properly, it is healthy. Anger is sometimes the body’s way to respond to attacks and threats, it enables us to defend ourselves against such threats.

However, there are “proper” ways to express your anger and there are ways that are not. You can suppress anger, express it or manage it. The best way to manage your anger is to express your feelings in an assertive (and not aggressive) manner. This allows you to make your feelings and needs known (and possibly have these met) without hurting others.

Anger may also be expressed in unhealthy manners. You may blow up and physically or emotionally hurt the people around you. Another way to express anger in an unhealthy manner is to try to suppress it or turn it inward. You can try to ignore your angry feelings, but in doing so, it may result in high blood pressure, tension or depression. It can also lead towards behaviors that display hostility and bitterness, or perhaps, passive-aggressiveness. Angry people who aren’t able to express their emotions well tend to be hypercritical, cynical and have a tendency to put others down.

When Anger takes the Better of You

How do you know if you have a problem managing your anger? Here are some symptoms to look out for:

–  An attitude of being constantly critical, short-tempered and easily provoked

– Tendency to want things done his way

– Uncontrollable outbursts that are often triggered by seemingly trivial matters and are manifested by throwing things or hitting people

– Tendency towards threats or acts of violence. Tendency to get into trouble with the law.

– Easily gets into a fight

– Tendency to abuse substances such as drugs or alcohol

– Vulnerability towards depression and anxiety

Anger Management

You may have to go for counseling in Utah when you feel that your angry feelings are going out of control. This will help you thresh out the root causes of your anger and provide you with tools to effectively express these feelings. Anger management Provo family counseling can help you identify the triggers that cause the anger, develop healthy reactions towards these triggers and give us tools to solve our anger management issues.

An anger management counselor will provide you with strategies to effectively manage anger:

– Relaxation techniques. This is one way to calm yourself and keep angry feelings at bay. You can imagine yourself as a cube of ice that is slowly melting. You can take deep breaths and slowly count from one to ten (or even a hundred!). Other relaxation techniques include yoga exercises and calming yourself down by repeating a word or phrase such as “calm down” or “relax”.

– Try to keep perspective. It is easy for you to be swept away by the angry emotions and feel that the world is conspiring to make life difficult for you. In your anger you might exaggerate the true nature of the situation. Keeping the proper perspective will help you keep your anger at bay when you realize that that anger isn’t warranted. It can also help you more easily answer the question, “Is this matter worth getting angry about?”

–  Learning to communicate. Anger may be caused by a mismatch of your and the other party’s expectations and behaviors. When you fail to communicate your expectations and also jump to conclusions about the other party’s behavior, anger can erupt. In learning better communication skills, you are able to express your feelings and also listen to what the other party has to say.

– Getting solutions. Sometimes anger is caused by a real problem that needs a solution. Rather than chafe at the situation, you can explore ways to solve the problem or get around it. When trying to find solutions, anger can be a positive force to change things for the better. However, it is vital that you know which problems can be solved and which issues are out of your control.

– Laugh it out. Keeping a good sense of humor can keep the edge of the angry feelings. Instead of raging at a situation, you can choose to find the humor in things. Remember, though, that sarcasm will not also work.

– Sweat it out. One other outlet for anger is some exercise – such as jogging or going for a quick walk. Exercise produces “happy” endorphins that loosen up the anger and relax you.

– Express your anger when you’re calm enough. This way, you are less emotional and confrontational and will not hurt others with your words.

– Let go of grudges and forgive. They say that forgiveness is actually releasing a prisoner – you. As long as you hold a grudge, feelings of anger swell up every time you remember the incident or the person that did you wrong.

– Change your environment. If you are able to identify some things that trigger your anger, it is sometimes best to avoid the aggravation. If going through a certain road at a certain time causes the traffic that so angers you, try to drive through another route or drive earlier in the day. If your child’s room particularly upsets you, close his room so you don’t see it. Avoid discussing important matters when you are tired or hungry.

Remember, anger management therapy is not about doing away with anger but with how you can positively and healthily express this anger. There are therapists that hold individual and group therapy sessions. If your anger issues may be affecting your relationship with your spouse, you can also go for Provo couples counseling.

Fight club! Does your family feel like a warzone? Do you feel that your family is into an argument or a fight half the time? Don’t be surprised. Conflict is part and parcel of being a family. Remember, a family is made up of different people. Yes, they are related by blood (and love), but sometimes they come with different personalities, beliefs and opinions. And these differences may sometimes chafe another member of the family.

Conflicts within the family are normal, even healthy, up to a certain point. However, conflicts may escalate to the point where other family members are affected. The conflicts have a negative impact not just on the relationship but on the family’s wellbeing, happiness, and day to day functioning. There may be a need for family members to go into Utah family therapy in order for each member to know how to communicate and resolve conflicts in an effective and healthy manner.

Different kinds of conflict

There are different kinds of conflict – conflict between the husband and wife, between a parent and a child and between siblings. Spouses may have conflict due to money matters, how the kids are to be disciplined, how to deal with in laws and so on. Parents may have conflict with a child as the child tries to test limits and assert a certain level of independence. Siblings may fight due to conflicts about personal space and respect for one’s property and privacy.

Other sources of family conflicts include substance abuse, a child playing the truant at school or a child’s rebellious behavior. Or, the family may be undergoing some stress or grief caused by transferring from one place to another, a breadwinner losing his or her job or the death of a loved one.

These conflicts and issues may affect one or more family members – resulting in higher levels of stress that in turn result in changes in sleeping patterns and eating habits. It may even produce physical symptoms such as stomachaches or headaches.

In an effort to ensure that a family stays strong in the midst of conflict, the family can create guidelines on how they will deal with conflict. It is important to encourage open communications but this should be balanced with mutual respect. Here are some guidelines that can provide helpful:

• Have regular family meetings. Provide a venue where family members can openly communicate. This will actually prevent plenty of conflicts in that potential arguments are headed off and resolved before they become a full blown conflict. Communicating also creates a deeper understanding for other family members, their feelings and reasoning and how these affect their actions.
• Calm down. A blow-up from one family member may negatively affect the rest of the family. When you feel yourself getting emotionally worked up, take a moment to calm yourself down. You may have to leave the room or take a short breather. This will help put you in the proper frame of mind. When one is emotionally charged, it can hamper the way you can objectively look at things with the view of resolving them.
• Focus on the issue at hand. Discuss the issue that caused the conflict. However, avoid the temptation of making “you” statements (i.e. You never listen to me. You are doing this just to irritate me.) Instead, go and identify the core problem so that you can start discussing ways on how to deal with it.
• Choose which battles to fight. Family situations are often complex. There will be trivial issues and large ones that can be potential sources of conflict. Choose which battle to fight. Sometimes, when you solve the bigger issue, it will trickle down to solving other smaller issues. Relationships are about give and take as well. Don’t expect other members of the family to agree with each other on all issues – agree to disagree and respect each other’s opinions. Learn to meet halfway.
• Come up with and discuss solutions. Going into family counseling may help you be better at exploring solutions for a problem. Discuss these solutions with the family so that they can evaluate and help with making the final decision. Some solutions may require changes – evaluate a chosen solution over a period of time to see if it is the right solution for the issue at hand.

Getting Help

Going for family counseling will help in resolving family conflict. An experienced and well-trained family therapist can help the family recognize how each one communicates, how to understand a situation and deal with the problem in the most effective way. With the help of a well-trained and experienced family therapist in Utah, families can learn to find their way out of conflict and build a stronger bond with each other.

When you are in the Provo, Utah area, feel free to drop by Dr. Triston Morgan’s family and Provo marriage therapy practice.  Dr. Morgan holds a Ph. D in marriage and family therapy. Ever since he started his practice in Utah, he has helped a considerable number of couples and families deal with conflict in a positive and non-confrontational way.

Getting into a drinking binge at a party. Craving that constant high. A teen who starts having discipline problems at school and puts on a rebellious attitude at home. Someone who loses a job or plays the truant in school because he’s always sick due to a hangover. These may be signs of substance abuse.

Substance abuse can be defined as the pathological use of a substance – alcohol, drugs, prescription medication or tobacco. Although a person who has a substance abuse problem may not yet be considered an addict (and there are no issues with withdrawal symptoms), there will be undesirable consequences that will affect an individual’s family life, social life and work life. A person who has substance abuse issues may perform poorly in school or work, have problems with the legal system and may act negligently or carelessly so as to cause harm to themselves and others.

There is also the tendency that substance abuse can devolve into addictions, where people have this uncontrollable compulsion to indulge in his addiction of choice. Over time, there is a feeling of helplessness and lack of self-worth. What they are focused on is how to get the next fix.

It is especially sad for parents to see this happening to their children. Having a child who has substance abuse problems may be one of a parent’s worst fears. That is why it is important for parents to nurture a caring and supportive environment where children feel loved and are less vulnerable to turning to drugs and alcohol. Parents should also be on the lookout for possible substance abuse and act accordingly to help their child win over the temptation to indulge in substance abuse.

Parents should be on the lookout for:

– Change in behavior. A teen who is into substance abuse may be suddenly sullen and rebellious and be more insistent about “privacy” and may withdraw from family events. You may notice a change in attitude as the teen becomes more hostile and sullen and may also be caught lying at times. As the substance abuse worsens, you may see increased conflicts with your teen, where he is becoming more and more out of control.

– Have alcohol or tobacco in their breath. Or, they may try to mask it by going straight to their rooms to “freshen up”.

– Declining performance in school. Grades may start to suffer and there may be complaints about delinquency and truancy, as well as discipline issues in school

– Change of peer group. Your teen may start minimizing contact with friends who don’t share the substance abuse problem and may spend more time with other peers who are also substance abusers.

– Change in activities. The sports and extra-curricular activities your teen used to enjoy may be dropped. Your teen may also be always “out with friends”.

– Mysterious loss of valuables and money. Things may suddenly go missing around the house. Or, your teen may start borrowing money from you, their siblings, other relatives and friends.

Dealing with Substance Abuse

Substance abuse is oftentimes caused by underlying issues the teen feels he has no control over or that he is unable to deal with. That is why going for Utah substance abuse counseling is one important component in treating this problem. It is also most effective when counseling is also coupled with medical treatment.

Going to a substance abuse counselor in Provo will help the teen deal with the underlying cause of the substance abuse. It is also vital in helping them recover their healthy functioning and build healthy relationships with others. Counseling will also help provide essential tools on how to manage this problem and prevent relapses from occurring.

Substance abuse therapy may focus on the emotions and thoughts that lead to the problem. It helps the teens to look into their feelings and identify situations that lead them to the temptation to take on drugs and alcohol – and how these situations can be avoided. Other tools include relaxation techniques to help the individual resist the temptation, manage the stress or anxiety they feel at this time and explore healthy outlets for pent up emotions and anger.

Teens may also feel anger (at their families, friends and even themselves) and therapy will help delve into the root causes of this anger. Through therapy, they are given tools on how they can express this anger in a healthy manner and deal with it constructively.

Families who have a teen who is into substance abuse could also do well to have Utah family therapy. It is important to foster an environment where the teen can see his family and friends support him and make efforts to get him back on track. Family therapy will be helpful to identify if there are any behaviors by family members that “enable” a teen’s substance abuse problems. Family members (especially parents) are also provided with communication tools and how they can effectively resolve any conflicts within the family that may have contributed to the substance abuse problem.

When in Provo, Utah, be sure to look up Dr. Triston Morgan. He is a highly experienced substance abuse counselor in Utah and has treated teens in various settings.

 

They say that the only constant thing in life is change. You can liken life as clouds in the sky – they are constantly changing form. Like it or not, change will come. That’s life, after all. We face various seasons of our lives that result in major transitions that necessitate a change in our lifestyle and outlook. Depending on how welcome the change is, it can be met with happiness, an openness to change and a positive attitude or it can be encountered with fear, anxiety and stress. It is important to realize that life transitions can be an uncertain (and even scary) time, but it can also be a time of growth.

Transitions can be due to expected events or they can be unpredictable and unwelcome events. Examples of life transitions include:

– Getting married and starting a family. This exciting phase in the life of couples can be a cause for much joy or stress. Becoming a parent is a challenge and will require much adjustment from the couple. Once the children come, you as parents discover that you have grown in ways you did not expect. You are challenged to earn a good income to provide for your family’s needs and still be able to “be there” and have time to raise up your children into responsible adults. At the same time, there is a challenge to maintain your relationship with your spouse. All these may create pressure and stress that result in emotional conflict with your spouse and children.

– Getting the empty nest. Another life transition is seeing your children grow up to be mature, independent individuals who will eventually leave the comfort and safety of the home you have built up. As the children leave the nest to form their own, parents (especially mothers) feel a disconnect about how they are – since their lives were more or less defined by their being parents. Parents who are unable to handle this transition may become depressed and dwell with their “loss” rather than look for opportunities of growth with this new phase in life.

– Getting retired or getting fired from your job. For the retirees, your life was defined largely by who you are at work for so many years now. And then suddenly, that is taken away from you. You used to spend eight hours or more in the office and now you don’t quite know what to do with those eight or more hours. For those who lose their jobs, there is the pain of rejection, the loss of self-worth and the fear that you are unable to get back on your feet.

– Losing a loved one or dealing with sickness. This is one transition that we face with dread. Dealing with a loss of a loved one or seeing them laid up with sickness is painful. We can turn towards other loved ones and friends for support and comfort at the time of our grief. Or we may even turn to drugs and alcohol to dull the pain.

These are just some of the transitions we normally face in life. There are other transitions – whether tragic or happy (i.e. winning the lottery, having to transfer homes) – that mark the different phases or chapters in our lives. These times can be very emotional and stressful.

When handled properly, these transitions help us develop as persons. However, transitions may also throw us into a downward spiral of emotional instability that could lead to substance abuse and bouts of depression. During these times, it will be helpful to see a therapist and even a substance abuse counselor, if applicable.

Accepting change and growing from them

There are two reactions towards transitions: fight it and delay it or accept it and grow from it. If you choose to drag your heels and resist the change that is coming, you are only just delaying the inevitable and making things harder for you. Resisting the transition in your life can cause you more stress and emotional upheaval. It can even affect relationships with family, friends and co-workers. It can drain you not just emotionally but also physically.

The help of an experienced and able counselor in Utah can help you through life’s transitions, especially if these are unwelcome ones. They can help guide us to the answers to questions like, “How do I deal with a recent divorce?” “How do I enjoy my retirement period?” “How do I cope with the loss of a loved one?” Life counselors can help us sort through the muddle caused by these transitions and provide us with the tools that we need to cope and grow from these experiences.

When the transitions of life become too challenging for you (and your spouse and loved ones), don’t be afraid to go into marriage or family therapy in Provo. One good indication that you may benefit from counseling or therapy may be when you are unable to deal with a transition and it affects how you relate with other people and the stress begins to manifest in you not just emotionally but also physically. A good therapist will provide you with not just a supportive ear but will help map the way out for you to successful deal with the transitions in your life.

If you are residing in Provo, Utah, you can count on Dr. Triston Morgan to help you deal with the life transitions you are facing. Dr. Morgan is a licensed family and Provo marriage therapist and has established a reputable practice in the state of Utah. He has since helped families and couples by providing them with effective tools to grow and thrive in the midst of life’s challenges.

 

 

A mariage wracked by infedility. Trouble with a rebellious teenager. Issues with sexual addiction, alcoholism or drug abuse. These issues have a considerable impact on a marriage or on a family. People may mistakenly hope that these problems are just a phase and that they will blow away sometime in the future. However, the wounds and scars caused by these issues often not just result in cracks in our relationships. They sometimes result in seriously deep crevices that may need more work, and perhaps the help of family counseling.

How Marriage or Family Therapy can Help

People often see a marriage or family therapist as a balm, a cure-all for the problems they are facing. Or, sometimes, people go into therapy at a point where the problems overwhelm the relationship and the couple is simply going through marriage counseling as the last nod off before getting a divorce.

The question is, why does family counseling or therapy do? Why should a couple or family go and seek therapy services? In what ways can family counseling help?

– Fostering open communications. Oftentimes, poor communications is the cause of conflict. And over time, as people fail to communicate feelings and simply gloss over the issues, the problems become too big to manage. There may be blow-ups that cause major fights. In addition, there are also family environments that prevent open communications. Family members may not feel comfortable talking about issues honestly. For instance, a spouse may feel awkward saying personal information in front of the spouse for fear of a negative reaction. Or, a child may feel reluctact to share his feelings for fear of a confrontation.

A good marriage or family counselor can help foster open and honest communications by providing an environment that is non-threatening and non-confrontational. When open communication flows (between family members and between the therapist and the clients), solutions can be discussed. The facilitator can also help family members become better communicators so that there are no further communication problems.

– Provide problem-solving skills. Family counselors can help equip family members with the necessary skills to deal with issues that cause conflict. This includes dealing with depression, developing self-confidence, anger management and dealing with loss or grief. Sometimes, if there is an issue with alcoholism or drug abuse, a substance abuse counselor can help the client break free from the addiction.

– Helps you deal with changes in life. As they say, life is a constant change and it never comes in smooth patterns. There are instances where the changes and the crises are too complicated or too heavy for you to bear. Even happy occasions such as the birth of a baby can cause an emotional upheaval. A therapist can help guide you through these upheavals so that you know how to respond to these.

– Helps individuals, couples and families deal with stress. The loss of a job. A serious sickness of a partner. The death of a loved one. When these strike, people are sometimes ill-equipped to deal with these stressful situations. And this can have a serious effect on relationships, depending on how each family member reacts. Some may deal with the stress by being aggressive. Some may handle it by pulling away from loved ones. Therapy can help people deal with stress in such a way that is relationships are built and strengthened, not destroyed.

– Help in overcoming the past. Past sins and mistakes have a tendency to haunt a relationship. A spouse may not easily get over a past bout of infidelity. Therapy can help mend the ridges so that the couple or family can move forward.

These are just some of the reasons why couples or families seek therapy. Once you realize the need for therapy, it is important that you don’t wait too long to get it. By that time, it may be too late. Don’t wait until things have seriously snowballed and heading downhill. Even if your partner or other family members refuse to go into therapy, going into it by yourself will still prove helpful.

Family Counselors in Provo, Utah

If you live in the Provo, Utah area, Triston Morgan is happy to help you with couples and family therapy services. Triston Morgan is licensed to practice marriage and family therapy in Utah and he has years of experience under his belt, particularly in the area of dealing with couples, teens and those with issues with regards to drugs or substance abuse.

Triston Morgan hilds a master’s degree and Ph.D. in marriage and family therapy, from Loma Linda University and Brigham Young University, respectively. Morgan is also certified to provide PREPARE/ENRICH courses. He has written books and for various journals and is an esteemed member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.