Blog | Tristonmorgan

A Word on Faith Crisis Counseling

As a therapist in Provo Utah, I often work with clients in a faith crisis. They come to me wanting to leave their religion or try to understand what they have been taught through a different lens. One thing I work with them on, inevitably, is letting go of some of the culture (real or perceived) that can accompany religion – the culture of pressure to be perfect or to at least appear so. Working with them to understand how to hold on to what they believe while letting go of certain surface level cultural aspects of living in an area which is highly religiously homogeneous. This can be a difficult task given the pressure to conform and follow. My suggestions to individuals in these circumstances is to do the following: Differentiate between your religions doctrine and the culture. Most people see these as different. Understanding the difference will help you embrace what you believe and let go of what can be damaging. ...

The Secret of Pornography

Secrets fuel addiction. As I’ve mentioned before in previous posts, addictions, such as pornography addictions, are a shame based experience. This means that when someone uses pornography they feel as if they are a bad person, rather than feeling that they are a good person despite making a mistake. When someone feels shame, they often compartmentalize what they have done – they hid it and separate it from who they think they really are, or, think that that mistake totally defines who they really are. This is where secrets come into play. Over time, a man (or woman – I’ve worked with both in therapy for pornography issues) who has been using pornography and feeling shame because of it will gather many secrets. He won’t want to tell anyone what he is doing, or won’t want to tell them all that he is doing. He might only present the best parts of himself or just tell enough about his mistakes to others to appease them or to feel like he is being open. But, in fact, he...

Problems with Teenagers

Family therapy is an effective way to deal with problems regarding adolescents, parenting, addiction, depression, anxiety and much more. When a mother and father bring in their 15-year-old son because he is drinking, using drugs, has a bad attitude, is failing out of school and is involved in risky behavior – I ask the parents to participate in counseling with him to be a part of the solution. The relationship between mom and dad, the relationship between mom and son and the relationship between dad and son matter in regard to this young man’s healthy life style choices. As a therapist of adolescents for over a decade now, I have found that more often than not, when success happens for adolescents in therapy it is accompanied with a mom and dad who are involved and willing. Most adolescents don’t want to do counseling. They often make excuses and say that they don’t want to follow the rules and that f their parents loved them that they wouldn’t give them a curfew. The ironic thing i...

Effective Couples Counseing

Couples counseling, if done right, is ‘husband friendly’. Most couples come into therapy because the wife seeks help, sets up an appointment and convinces her husband to go with her. He often feels as if he is forced into the session and as if he is the bad guy. He might think that the therapist is going to be on his wife’s side and that together, his wife and the therapist, are going to tell him what he needs to change. Effective couples counseling couldn’t be further from this scenario. In couple’s therapy, a therapist will see the problem as something the husband and wife can fight together. The problem isn’t the wife and it’s not the husband – it’s the way that they have been going about their relationship....

Depression

Depression is something that everyone experiences in their life time. There are a few different types of depression that are important to understand. Depression can be situational or more chronic and long lasting. Depression can come after the birth of a child for both the mother and the father. Depression that lasts for longer than a certain situation and is debilitating in life is often treated with traditional talk therapy and medication. Using both medication and counseling together will help you deal and cope in a healthy manner. I often have clients who come to therapy who refuse to use medications. I have a nurse practitioner colleague who tells me that she has clients come to use medications but often d...

Couples Counseling – Don’t Wait Until Its Too Late

Couples come into therapy years too late – according to research. I often hear of couples going to therapy after they have done so much damage to their relationship that it is difficult to repair. When couples call me to make an appointment for therapy they often tell me about their sad story about the last 10 years of a loveless, passionate-less, disconnected relationship. They long to get back to what they had when they first met. But after years of learning unhealthy habits to deal with relationship stress, it is a very long and steep road back. There are several signs that you and your partner might need counseling. I will offer a few here: You are fighting more than usual Your fights are ...

Postpartum Depression

My wife and I had our first child 8 months ago. He’s awesome...and difficult. The adjustment to having children can be a major struggle for parents. Changing routines, sleep deprivation, life style alterations and the loss of certain coping strategies are among the difficulties during this time. As a testimony to this, its 1:55am as I’m writing this blog because our little one is awake! - It’s my wife’s turn to try and get him down. Many in our community have suffered devastating consequences from this adjustment. You have probably heard of The Emily Effect. Postpartum Depression is a real and often unseen reality for many. Knowing how powerful it can be, understanding how to recognize it and respond is crucial. Withdrawal, anger, weight gain/loss, anxiety, guild, loss of interest, loss of appetite, difficulty bonding with baby, crying or irritability, insomnia, depression, fear, mood swings, panic attacks, lack of concentration or unwante...

Pornography Use Treatment

Pornography has been called the ‘New Drug’, and rightfully so. Groups like Fight the New Drug have been working tirelessly to education people about the harmful effects of pornography. You might not need to read up on the latest research to know how damaging and painful it can be – whether it’s a personal struggle with pornography or your loved one who is using it. Pornography use is often accompanied by shame. Shame is damaging. Guilt, on the other hand, is healthy. We need guilt, but don’t have to seek it out – it finds us. Guilt lets us know that we are doing something that is damaging to our body or soul. Guilt would say that, “I made a mistake, but I am still a good person’, Shame would say, “I made a mistake and therefore I am a bad person’. As a shame-based experience, pornography use goes beyond the physical act of using. It impacts our relationships, our ability to experience emotions in a healthy manner,...

Anxiety

At one point or another anxiety will impact you. Most of us have an experience with anxiety that makes us feel scared and stressed. Anxiety is the body’s emotional and physical response to a stressful situation or anticipation of a real or perceived difficult circumstance. It’s important to understand that anxiety is largely a physical reaction to a real or perceived stressor. Calming your body down when anxious allows you to engage the coping skills you have at your disposal. When working with clients presenting with anxiety one of the first things we do is focus on techniques to cope through physical exercises such as diaphragmatic breathing or progressive muscle relaxation. After clients possess the skills to calm their bodies down when anxious, we are able to work on the emotional, relational and intellectual aspects of this difficult emotion. Anxiety can often take the role of a secondary emotion – an emotion that presents itself as an attachment to your ...

Should and Supposed to

I recently wrote this for the Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine. Enjoy - Whether in my role as a therapist, friend, business associate, or family member, I’ve been lucky to meet and associate with a wide assortment of personalities in Utah County and around the world. Though we may have different backgrounds and stories, I’ve noticed a troubling commonality that impacts most of us. We unknowingly send ourselves a subtle and potentially dangerous message – that of should and supposed to. We tell ourselves, I should be nicer to my kids or I’m supposed to serve and help others...

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